Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
