if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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