Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
