I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Randomize
