dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
