i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
