EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
