Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
So. Much. Porn.
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