direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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