DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
How naked do you want me to be?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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