I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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