Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Randomize
