fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
