Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
