NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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