You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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