I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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