Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
