On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
