Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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