he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
