its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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