I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize