She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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