Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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