Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
