I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I enjoy the company of your penis
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
