3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Is Oprah even human
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
