Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
