i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
