i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
What drink are we having for lunch?
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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