too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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