I can tuck mytits in my pants
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
