Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
