I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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