I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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