Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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