Sponge bath it is.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
