when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
i think i have herpe
just one?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
