did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
