You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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