Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
