how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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