if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
