i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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