Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
