There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
