oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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