walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
