Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Randomize
