great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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