I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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