Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
